Frost Burns
by Cerih
Summary: AU. Continues from Howling Wind, where Ianto just walked out of the Hub having kissed Jack in front of the others. For continuity sake, I recommend you read Howling Wind first.


Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood, Ianto, Jack or the others. I wish I did. But unless BBC gives me a really nice Christmas present, I'm going to have to stick to writing fanfiction.

Note: I am fully aware that British/Welsh currency is pounds, not dollars. I live near London. Just to clarify to everyone, Torchwood has just returned from Asia, where they would have used dollars as a universal currency due to its wide acceptance and relatively good value. Ianto keeps his money/change in his flat, which is why he only has dollars on him at the start of this story.

Ianto was completely numb as he walked out of the hub. His body functioned on autopilot, making him cross the plaza and head home. Left foot, then right foot, then left foot again. Pause by the road, look right, then left, cross the road. Turn the corner, go straight. Turn left, turn right, stop. He stood outside his building for a long while, then turned towards the corner shop, deciding that he needed a pint of milk. Once he was in the shop, however, he remembered that he only had a few dollars on him, and so with a heavy sigh he walked out again.

His one bedroom flat smelled stuffy and slightly spoiled, especially after the crisp air of the Himalayas. Ianto drew the curtains and opened all the windows, enjoying the feeling of cool air rolling in. He was desperate to get out of the filthy clothes and take a shower, but instead he forced himself to walk to the kitchen to assess the damage. They had left for Asia in a hurry and he not been able to prepare for the trip. Gagging at the stench from the fridge, he took out a black bin bag and started emptying the contents of the fridge and the bread bin into it. It was a good thing he had not pets, he mused as the dropped a packet of green and furry sausages into the black bag. Once all the spoiled food was cleared away and the full bin bag deposited outside in the bin, Ianto decided that he had deserved a long, hot shower.

It was a great relief to peel off the layers of clothes he had worn constantly for far too long, and Ianto yelped when the hot water hit his skin and all the frost burns he had sustained during the weeks in the Himalayas. It was only then, under the nigh scalding drops of water that the numbness subsided and all his emotions came rushing back. Jack was back. Jack had abandoned them and how he was back. Ianto choked and started sobbing, slowly sliding down along the wall. He sat there for what seemed like an eternity, crying under the pelting shower, his mind full of questions. Why had Jack left? Why was he gone? Where had he been? Who had been with? Had he changed? Did he still love Ianto? Did he ever love Ianto at all?

Eventually he stood up, having run out of tears and feeling completely empty. The burden he had carried since Jack's disappearance just over a month ago – although it felt more like over a year ago to Ianto – had finally lifted. With a heavy sigh, the Welshman took a bottle of shampoo and poured most of it to his cupped hand. He washed his hair three times, scrubbed his skin over and over and shaved in the shower. It was much later that he finally turned off the shower and stepped out of the shower cubicle into the heavily steamed up bathroom to dry himself.

When Ianto walked out of the bathroom, with skin red from the hot water and vigorous washing, and wearing only a towel around his waist, the sun had already dipped below the horizon. The flat was dark and all the fresh air had dropped the temperature inside considerably. Ianto shivered and headed to the lounge to start shutting the windows. As he entered the room, he was unsurprised to see Jack perched awkwardly on the edge of his black sofa. Owen probably bullied him into coming here, Ianto mused as he walked past the older man to close the window and then proceeded to the kitchen to do the same. He finished his task in the bedroom and started pulling clean clothes from his closet.

"Ianto" Jack whispered from the doorway and the Welshman almost jumped. In their time apart, he had grown unaccustomed to Jack's uncanny ability to sneak up on people. Ianto did not say anything but merely glanced towards the older man over his shoulder to show that he was not deliberately ignoring him. He dropped the towel and started pulling clothes on, aware but undisturbed by Jack's eyes on his body. He had no reason to feel shy in the Captain's company, after all, this was hardly the first time Jack had seen him naked.

"Ianto" Jack whispered again, and suddenly he was there, just behind Ianto, running a warm gentle hand down his spine and eliciting shivers and a stifled moan from the younger man. Ianto desperately wanted to lean back into those arms and lose himself in Jack's embrace, but he could not, not just yet. There were far too many hurts and unspoken things between them. Letting out a heavy sigh, the Welshman reached for a pair of jeans, only to have Jack's hand on his shoulder stopping him.

"Wait. Owen told me to give you this. It's for your frost burns." Jack showed Ianto a small jar and continued. "Let me help you."

Ianto hesitated only for a moment, before nodding and dropping the jeans back on his bed. When Jack's hands started gently spreading the ointment onto the damaged skin, Ianto could no longer bite back the mingled moan of pain and pleasure. The Captain chuckled quietly and carefully wrapped the burns with bandages he had produced from his pockets without Ianto even noticing. Only then did he allow the younger man finish getting dressed, while he walked to the kitchen to find a take away menu. Without asking Ianto what food he wanted, Jack ordered them enough Chinese to feed the entire Torchwood team and then looked at the Welshman uncertainly. Ianto pushed his hand deep into his jean pockets and suddenly wondered what the Captain was doing in his flat.

"I, uhh, I want to, no, I need to tell you what happened. Why I left like that and what followed. I want to tell you absolutely everything." Jack's words interrupted Ianto's thoughts and resolved his unspoken query.

Both men sat on the sofa, Ianto wrapping a blanket around himself to ward him against the lingering chill, and then Jack started speaking. Instead of starting from the day he disappeared, Jack went much further back and painted in front of Ianto's eyes a scene from the World War 2. It included a blonde woman wearing a Union Jack shirt and hanging in mid air during one of the German air raids and Jack himself being the gallant hero. Jack told Ianto about the Doctor, about their travels and about the events at the Game Station. The Captains spoke of the all the decades he had lived through, waiting to cross paths with the Doctor again and how eventually he had become involved with Torchwood.

Jack talked deep into the night, only pausing to pay for the food and to occasionally catch a forkful of noodles from his plate. He spoke candidly about his love for Rose and the Doctor, and about the heart break and despair of having been abandoned. He described the wild hope he felt when he finally heard the sound of Tardis again and he was reunited with the Doctor at the end of the universe. He told Ianto about Harold Saxon and the year that never was, holding back none of the details. The Captain confessed that the only reason he had been able to defy the Master throughout the months of torture was the knowledge that Ianto and the others had eluded capture and the hope that one day he might see the Welshman again.

All through this Ianto sat quietly, never interrupting, although when Jack spoke of being tortured, the younger man wept openly. When Jack finally ran out of words, Ianto remained silent for a long while, his mind swirling from all the things he had learned that night. Eventually he reached out to hold the Captain's hand and offered him a faint smile. Jack returned the smile, looking both nervous and somewhat relieved, and Ianto leaned forwards to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

Jack's face grew serious as the squeezed his companion's hand and spoke quietly. "I love you, Ianto Jones. My only regret is that it has taken me so long to tell you this."

"I love you too, Jack. Always have and always will. In the Himalayas, it was your voice in the wind keeping me sane and calling me home. You said it was time for me to come home and now here I am, at home with you."

That night, as they made love, it had become perfectly clear for both of them that things had changed. Gone was all the pretense of casualness and it had been replaced with caring and unabashed love. Jack had done the right thing by being completely honest with Ianto about everything and that began repairing their relationship. There was, however, no magic cure for broken trust and Jack swore to himself that he would do whatever it took to help Ianto trust him again. Like the frost burns, the wounds Jack had inflicted on Ianto's soul could only be mended by time.

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Many years later, Ianto jolted awake from his nightmares. He could still hear the pulsing sound of the police box that haunted his dreams and he looked around frantically. Only when his eyes fell upon the sleeping form of Jack next to him did the Welshman relax. Just another nightmare, he told himself. They had heard nothing of the Doctor since the stolen Earth incident and yet Ianto still could not rid himself of the fear that Jack might disappear again someday. Sighing deeply, the Welshman sat up on the bed, hugging his knees close to his body and stared at his lover. From the day Jack had returned to them Ianto had been waiting for his fears to subside and for him to be able to trust Jack completely, and in the darkness of the night, he was still waiting.


End file.
